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2016 Power Rankings-Week 11
Introduction Teams are hungry and the competition is heating up as we approach the final few weeks before the playoffs start. All of these games were so close that the “biggest blowout” of the week was only 28.75. Dee got their first win against ma ma momma said, Jar Jar got their first win against GBM, and Papa’s Posse got their first win against Paddock 9 since week 11 of 2014. For the first time in league history we have five teams at 5-5; five teams fighting for three playoff spots. I don't want to completely say it's thanks to my incredible schedule making skills but it's more probably than not that it doesn't not have something to do with my schedule, you know? On a personal note, this is the last week working on my current movie. Usually the last week is a lot of sitting around and waiting until the clock hits closing time, but what I didn't expect was that I'd have to box up everything in the entire building because of the whole assistant quitting on me a month ago thing. As a result, any time I'm at my computer trying to write the rankings, my boss instantly knows 1.) things aren't getting boxed and 2.) I'm not doing anything work related because the only thing work related is boxing. SOOOO, all that to say, hopefully the rankings don't suck this week. But next week I'm on vacation, so let's hope I can either post some good stuff or come up with another excuse as to why my rankings suck. Best Day EVER! One change this week as Dee was able to capitalize on Momma's worst game of the season. Trade Tracker Trade tracker is keeping us apprised of the ramifications of the trade between Paddock 9 and MMMS. In the first and third columns, the points scored by traded players in starting lineups (if they are benched, those points are not tallied). Per player average took the total points and divided by the total number of starts so far. For example, P9 has started Denver D three times and Landry twice, so five starts total. Thus the per player average is 104.50 divided by 5. MMMS has gotten seven starts out of the four acquired players. Points Per Week If you felt like this was a high scoring week, that's because this was a high scoring week. The highest scoring since the byes started in week four. Below is a chart that shows the total points scored per week. Stat Notes * The Shotti Bunch became the fourth franchise of 2016 to join the list of top ten highest scores by a losing team. His 246.83 is the 8th highest regular season and 10th highest combined score ever put up by a losing team. Momma, Papa, and MVP have already made their mark in the history books in 2016. * Paddock 9 becomes the first team to hit 50 combined losses. He accomplished the feat in 85 games. Dee, at 55 games, will have to go 0.534 in their next thirty games to avoid breaking this unfortunate record. Dee is currently 0.364 lifetime. * RIP becomes the 6th team to reach 15,000 regular season points against. Momma becomes the 7th. * GBM becomes the third team to reach 40 regular season losses. GBM will be the last team to reach 40 losses this season, though Peeled Eggplant has the potential to be the next to hit the mark. They currently sit at 36 losses. Tune in next season. * RIP moves into a tie for 2nd all time in regular season wins. * RIP becomes the third team to reach 18,000 combined points scored. Power Rankings Two new stat categories added. Here is the updated key: * TPS - Total Points Scored * APT - Record against playoff teams * GOT - Games over 200 points scored * PUTenP - Players who scored under ten points * POTweP - Players who scored over twenty points ---- 1(1). The Shotti Bunch Magic Number - 2 Clinching Scenario - Clinches a playoff spot with a win and losses by any TWO of the following five teams: RIPDab, JarJar Stinks, Paddock 9, Papa’s Posse, and Deez Sons of Bitchez Bench Points - 7.50 TPS - 254.33 APT - 3-2 GOT - 10 PUTenP - 0 POTweP - 7 2015 Week 11 Ranking - 3 This fucking guy has scored over 220 points every week this season. Do you realize that? To beat him, you have to score at least 230, but in reality you probably have to score over 240. The three teams who have beaten him have scored 249.41, 236.65 and 270.87 and the average margin of victory in those games is only 21 points. The Shotti Bunch has scored over 230 seven times, over 240 five times, over 260 four times, and over 270 twice. He is also the only team this week to have every starter go over 10 points. His loss does throw the entire league into pure and utter chaos, as now both bye spots are up for grabs, half the league is tied for fourth, and nine of us still have a mathematically reasonable shot at the playoffs. What is the weakness? Where do we have to hope this team falters in the playoffs? I'm genuinely asking, I really don't know. Shotti has not lost back to back games since week 6 and 7 of the 2014 season, the longest active streak in the league. ---- 2(5). RIPDab Magic Number - 4 Clinching Scenario - None Bench Points - 13.40 TPS - 284.27 APT - 2-3 GOT - 6 PUTenP - 4 POTweP - 6 2015 Week 11 Ranking - 6 This team has had more ups and downs than Skip Bayless's head while he's fellating the Cowboys. It was easier to predict Pennsylvania's election results than it is to predict whether RIPDab is going to win or fail to break 150. With four other teams hitting 5-5, the win against The Shotti Bunch was massive for RIP, who would be sitting in 8th place had they not pulled it off. Let's face it, fantasy is just easy with EZ. EZ-E accounted for 24% of the team's total points this week. Elliot has 1,005 rushing yards, the third most rushing yards in a player’s first nine games in NFL history. We'll see how he fairs against the league's fourth ranked run defense in week 11. Speaking of the run, expect a big day from Stewart Thursday night with the return of center Ryan Kalil, the key to success for Carolina's run game. Let's see how New England fairs as RIP's 8th starting defense going against the QB who finished 5th last week among all players at his position. ---- 3(4). HELLEVATOR MVP Magic Number - 3 Clinching Scenario - None Bench Points - 6.63 TPS - 214.14 APT - 3-2 GOT - 7 PUTenP - 4 POTweP - 4 2015 Week 10 Ranking -7 A gutsy win this week by MVP, who managed to pull off the victory despite spending the weekend working the Rhode Island Comic-Con and admiring Millie Bobby Brown from afar. And if you think MVP drooling over a twelve year old isn't scary enough, consider this: MVP might be heating up right when it matters most. To start, MVP averaged 211.09 points in their first five games, but faced the toughest schedule in the league and ended up 2-3. Since then they are 3-2 and averaging 218.72 per game, well above the league average. If MVP can average 210.78 or more in their last three games they will reach a record 17,000 regular season points. Is Hellevator back? Not quite. What looked like an easy end to the season has morphed into a challenge similar to their start, with a 17-13 remaining opponent record to close the season. Carr, meanwhile, is 3-0 in primetime games. One big plus is Steve Smith Sr., tied or leading Baltimore in targets each of the last four games. Another RIP cast off is producing when it counts. ---- 4(2). Garoppoblow Me Magic Number - 2 Clinching Scenario - Clinches a playoff spot with a win and losses by any TWO of the following five teams: RIPDab, JarJar Stinks, Paddock 9, Papa’s Posse, and Deez Sons of Bitchez Bench Points - 94.40 TPS - 302.50 APT - 3-3 GOT - 8 PUTenP - 3 POTweP - 4 2015 Week 10 Ranking - 2 It is getting harder and harder for GBM to NOT clinch a playoff spot, but with another loss this week the possibility of the commish dropping from 1st just weeks ago to 5th or 6th is starting to look more plausible. Despite being one of only two teams to score over 200 in each of the last five weeks, GBM has looked vulnerable against playoff teams and is on a disappointing 1-2 streak since starting 6-1. On defense, the Chiefs have reasserted themselves as the dominant force GBM had thought they’d drafted in September. KC is 17-2 in their last 19 reg season games with 45 takeaways. But the time has passed for GBM to try and deal Minnesota, leaving him stuck with two high octane defenses for the price of one valuable bench spot. Blow Me has not lost back to back regular season games since weeks 9 and 10 of the 2014 season, an active streak of 26 games. Hope now lies with Mariota, a young QB who plays a Colts team with a poor defense but also one Marcus has never beaten. While GBM tries to keep from losing back-to-back, the Colts will hope to win back-to-back with Andy Luck for the first time since 2014. ---- 5(3). Paddock 9 Magic Number - 4 Clinching Scenario - None Bench Points - 54.58 TPS - 288.48 APT - 4-3 GOT - 6 PUTenP - 3 POTweP - 4 2015 Week 10 Ranking - 8 P9 was looking less like the T-Rex in Jurassic World and more the T-Rex from Jurassic Park 3 in week ten. When DeMarco Murray took the first play from scrimmage to the house for a 79 yard touchdown, it looked like this prehistoric predator was going to be the king of the island. But the Spinosaurus that is Papa’s Posse proved to be a pain in the back and ultimate snapped their neck (and winning streak). All good things must come to an end, and Paddock has to at least be happy with the 233.90 they put up in week 10. That’s the third time in five weeks they have gone over 230 after only accomplishing the feat three times in their last two seasons combined. More impressively, Paddock 9’s defense returned an extra point try for a 2-point score for the second time this season. Baltimore previously did it for them in week 2. There have only been 3 such plays in NFL history and P9 has benefited from two of them. ---- 6(6). Jar Jar Stinks Magic Number - 4 Clinching Scenario - None Bench Points - 29.80 TPS - 260.60 APT - 2-4 GOT - 6 PUTenP - 2 POTweP - 6 2015 Week 10 Ranking - 4 Last season JJ went 2W, 5L, 3W in their first ten games. This season they’ve gone 2W, 4L, 1W, 1L, 2W. Sliced a bit differently but essentially the pizza toppings are the same. Through ten games they are once again sitting at 5-5. The stars all aligned on Sunday and the Super Stars showed up. ODB put the team on his back Monday night with 29.90 and Jennings helped out with 21.23. Jar Jar was only trailing by 28.43 so Jennings could have taken the night off. But Dez Bryant was the biggest (pleasant) surprise, with 6 receptions, a buck 16 and a score against the Steelers, his best game of the season. Jar Jar controls his own destiny but almost definitely needs a win this week against Papa's Posse, against whom they are 0-2. ---- 7(7). Papa’s Posse Bench Points - 58.91 TPS - 304.04 APT - 3-4 GOT - 6 PUTenP - 2 POTweP - 5 2015 Week 10 Ranking - 9 Papa has to be digging the return of Stefon Diggs, who has 42 targets and 34 receptions in his last three games after posting just 4.2 fantasy points in his first game back from injury. Papa should be relieved that Paddock 9 didn’t capitalize on the absence of Travis Benjamin and start the Chargers’ clear number one receiver, Tyrell Williams. A winning margin of 11.23 is a bit too close for comfort, but 245.13 marks the third time this season that the team has topped 245 points, third best in the league. Finally, Rob Kelley has proven to be a huge asset for Papa, with 60.94 points since week 6. Compare that to 64.48 for Gurley and you have a lot of bang for your buck with the free agent pickup. The Washington RB gave Paddock 9 the business this weekend with another 14.65 point performance. But P9 shouldn’t feel too bad. This isn’t the first time R. Kelley has pissed all over someone. ---- 8(8). Deez Sons of Bitchez Bench Points - 32.50 TPS - 210.61 APT - 3-4 GOT - 5 PUTenP''' - 2''' POTweP - 3 2015 Week 10 Ranking - 5 Hard to believe the Jets are 3-7. The only winning team of the week to score under 200 points, Dee still does not look like the powerhouse that started the year. In fact, Dee was the only other team besides momma to score under 200 points. In an impressive scoring week, Dee failed to dazzle. But winning doesn’t need to be pretty. Even a broken franchise can win twice in a row, isn’t that the expression? Dee failed to move any of her Saints before the trade deadline and instead simply benched the Saint who performed best in week 10, a bold strategy that apparently paid off since they now have the longest active win streak in the league. Hopkins, meanwhile, continues to keep the race alive with Todd Gurley for the biggest (healthy) bust of the first round. In the last month, Hopkins has been 8th in the league in targets but 45th in the league in receiving yards. ---- 9(9). Peeled Eggplant Elimination Number - 2 Bench Points - 83.06 TPS - 285.58 APT - 2-4 GOT - 6 PUTenP - 2 POTweP - 3 2015 Week 10 Ranking - 10 Time to take the eggplant parm out of the oven. This team is cooked. PE had a great chance to pull a huge upset on Monday night but Tyler Eifort couldn’t finish the job in the second half. Despite finishing with an impressive 19 points and solidifying himself as a strong TE1, Eifert was unable to get into the endzone and that made all the difference. In theory, PE could make the playoffs if they win out, but they will need at least three of the 5-5’s to go at least 1-2, if not 0-3, and they’ll need to make up considerable ground in the points scored. Does not help that Alshon Jeffery is missing a month for juicing, but he also wasn't having that great of a season to begin with. I mean if that is Alshon's performance ON steroids, I'd hate to see how bad he is off them... ---- 10(10). Ma ma momma said Elimination Number - 1 Bench Points - 66.65 TPS - 216.01 APT - 1-6 GOT - 4 PUTenP - 4 POTweP - 2 2015 Week 10 Ranking - 1 Jay Ajai may have the Dolphins on a four game winning streak but he has not done much for ma ma momma said. There is some promise in potential keeper Jameis Winston, who became the youngest QB to reach 40 TD passes this Sunday. Zach Miller becomes a valuable TE1, albeit on a fantasy team where his points essentially just go down into a meaningless black hole of misery. Meanwhile Cincy D and Langford, two players that came over in the trade from Paddock 9, have already been released. My oh my has this team fallen from grace. They lost the championship game by 5 points and have fallen into the pit of despair worse than the Carolina Panthers after being trounced in SB50 by Peyton's noodle arm. Theme of the Week - Deuces Wild This week was originally a rematch of week two matchups, but what we have is two games from week two and one from week one. But fret not, all these matchups are Wild. To start, we have the battle for first between TSB and GBM. These two teams have the longest active streaks without back to back losses. Both date back to 2014 and both are at stake this week. We also have Dad v. Dad in Jar Jar Stinks and Papa’s Posse. Momma already has a week two win against RIPDab, and now they look to play spoiler in the rematch. Peeled Eggplant looks to do the same in their first matchup of the season against Paddock 9. P9 will be without their shiny Denver defense and their star receiver. Can Peeled pulled Paddock from playoff contention? Finally we have Deez Sons of Bitchez taking on MVP. Dee won the opening day matchup with the only 300-point performance thus far in 2016, but since then the tides have turned. Dee has not beaten a playoff team since week 3 and will need this win to legitimize their hunt for the title. MATCHUP OF THE WEEK - The Battle for the Bubble While the war wages for first place between two teams almost guaranteed to make playoffs even if they lose out (which, let’s be honest, is not happening to Shotti but could very well happen to GBM), a more desperate and intriguing battle will be fought further down in the standings. Never have we had five 5-5 teams and the six playoff spots are as wide open as ever. Players to watch are the QBs. Stafford is coming off a bye and has only thrown four TDs in his last three games but will be at home vs. Jacksonville. Luck, meanwhile, threw for 353 and 3 TDs against Tennessee earlier this season. At 4:25 Seattle faces off against Philly, and thus we have a real life defensive battle. Papa starts Philly (25FP last week) and Jar Jar starts Seattle (23FP last week). Which Dez Bryant is going to show up for Jar Jar? How will the loss of Alshon impact the production of Meredith for Papa? Papa is the old guard, a former champ who has been in some of the most grueling matchups the league has ever witnessed. Jar Jar is the new blood, the dad trying to come in and overthrow the once and future king. With one of the top two teams guaranteed to be 7-4 after this week, the winner of this matchup finds himself just one game out of a bye spot. The loser will be in either 7th or 8th place with two weeks left to play.